We've Reached the End

Since we have arrived at our surprising destination and are finished with the traveling part of this project, this will be my last entry in this blog. I have enjoyed writing it and hearing from people that I don't even know who have commented and provided advice as we have made this journey. Now we put together what we have learned in various ways.
Keeping this blog has helped me think through some things and I have found the process to be quite productive in that I sometimes was able to discover what I thought about something in the process of writing a blog entry. And I find my own journey continuing here in this most unlikely place. So I will continue to blog about my thoughts and observations at
www.shariburke.blogspot.com

Because I have been interested for quite some time now about the role faith plays in individual lives, culture, and society, and this trip has only intensified that, I am also starting a new blog devoted to that topic at
www.faithculturesociety.blogspot.com

This trip has made me even more aware of how large a role faith plays in the world and how inadequately this is recognized and addressed. That's not to say it is ignored. There's much attention paid to various aspects of faith, but much of this is superficial and beside the point. Thus, it's not very useful. I humbly hope to provide some fresh insight and new ways of considering faith in our culture and lives.

For those of you who followed along on our trek across the northern US, thanks for being there with us. It quickly became apparent that it was not going to be what we thought it would be when we started out and I was glad I decided to expect nothing but the unexpected. Rolling with things the way they were and not trying to make it all into something else was a valuable strategy and I am glad I planned for that going in. Otherwise I could have found myself miserable and frustrated. As it is, I learned so much and found myself in a large way in the process. So it's all turned out well. I hope to hear from you via email or through one of my other blogs. Take care and be sure to listen wherever you happen to find yourself—whether it's to someone else or to yourself. Especially to yourself.

Niagara Falls

October 14, 2009
I still have a hard time believing that I live in Niagara Falls. This is a place that was never even on my radar screen before. If I thought about Niagara Falls at all, it was in some Hollywood movie kind of way, I guess or because I'd heard a story about someone heading over the Falls in a barrel or something. But it never occurred to me that there was an actual town attached to the Falls. At least until we realized that Burlington was not a good place to stop and stay a while and Bill said, “What about Buffalo?” Never gave much thought to Buffalo, either, to be honest. But here I am. As usual, when people ask how I ended up here, I will have a weird story to tell them. “Well, we were wrapping up a trip across the northern United States to observe the ways in which communities of faith were responding to the economic situation. We planned to stop and live for a while in Burlington, Vermont, but it turned out to be too expensive and homogeneous for our taste. We could not find an apartment and after 3 weeks, decided to move on. Bill suggested we check out Buffalo. We looked online and it seemed like an interesting place, so I began looking for a place to stay until we could find an apartment. Turned out there were more options in Niagara Falls, so we ended up at a Travelodge there. And the first night we were there, Bill looked on Craigslist and found a possibility.

He contacted the guy; we came to look at the apartment the next day; and we all agreed that we would rent it. So I'm in Niagara Falls.” Haven't seen Buffalo yet.
So, Niagara Falls. Even when I learned that it existed, I was unable to form a picture in my mind. I guess I thought it would be a touristy kind of area. That since there was a city/town (there is local disagreement about which it is), it must be full of suburban landscapes, manicured lawns, and spindly little trees. Good thing I didn't bother going very far along that road. It is nothing like I could have imagined a tourist area to be. This is clearly an area with problems. The results of a study were made public the first week we were here—Buffalo is the third poorest city in the country. Up here 12 miles or so north of Buffalo, you can tell. The whole town seems rather shabby. Some places seem worse than that.

We took a walk to the Falls themselves as a part of a church meeting and we walked by boarded up buildings and a dying city (or perhaps town). Even the motels that are within walking distance to Niagara Falls seemed kind of drab. Maybe it was because we are past tourist season. Maybe it was because it was a grey and blustery day and it seemed like it could pour on us at any minute. But I was continually struck by the drabness. I kept wondering what people think when they get here. This is supposed to be a honeymoon destination—at one time at least, the biggest destination in the country, I've heard. What on earth do people think when they get here? When we were at the motel, it was located on a strip with motels, restaurants, stores, etc. Many of these places advertised the fact that they had jacuzzis. Some of them had hearts beside the word. Whether that means it was a heart-shaped jacuzzi, I do not know. But I do know this: a heart-shaped jacuzzi would have done absolutely nothing to make me one iota happier about ending up in such a place for my honeymoon or even overnight. Some of these places looked pretty alarming. “Ok,” I thought to myself, “these are the low-rent motels farther away from the Falls themselves. The ones closer are probably much nicer.” Not so. They were better, I guess, at least from the outside.

But there seems to be an abundance of concrete block buildings that is highly unattractive and dull. It reminds me of the little bit of Medford, Oregon I've seen. Not at all pleasant to look at. Again, I thought about what I would expect in a place like this and it includes landscaping of some kind, some color from flowers—it's not winter yet—and some kind of interesting details. Something beyond blocky concrete buildings. Now, I try to remember that I have seen only a very small area and perhaps there is more elsewhere. I do not know. Surely there must be.



There was an ice park. That was strange. There it sits in one of the tourist parts of the city. It's just there—a big slope of ice with lanes for snowboarders. There is an ice rink and supposedly a place where people can make snow angels. That consisted of a pile of dirty, slushy snow such as you would see on the side of the road in February. And where did the water come from to make all of this ice? There was a big hose connected to the fire hydrant running under the chain-link fence. I have been told that the Canadian side is nicer. Apparently, they keep all the money that is generated at their park in the park. Here the money that comes from the state park goes to Albany to be spread around the state. As for the Falls themselves, I only got to see them for a few minutes from one particular vantage point, so I can't say much about that. I look forward to spending some more time there.
Having said all of that, once you move about a mile or so away from the Falls (we live about 1 ½ miles away), things are far more interesting. This is definitely a working class town. I have not seen anything resembling suburbia or manicured lawns. And I do not necessarily find this to be a bad thing—I should be clear about that. I am no fan of suburbia. Most of the houses in the neighborhood where we live and beyond are not showplaces, but are reasonably well-kept. Some have Buffalo Bills lawn decorations (alas, they are doomed to disappointment this year as the Bills are stinking up the league—a big topic in the media is whether the coach should get fired). Halloween and autumn decorations are in front of several houses that we regularly pass by on our way to someplace else. Some are quite elaborate. Many are made of brick, including the one we live in. Many have peeling paint on the porch columns, but are neat and tidy and may or may not have bushes, shrubs, and flowers outside. The sidewalks are a different matter—I always was careful of the ice in Klamath Falls that built up because people wouldn't shovel their few feet of sidewalk. Here the danger is cracked cement, dips and holes in the sidewalks, and pieces sticking up and ready to trip you. So walking requires a good bit of attention!

Little Italy is a few blocks away and that seems like a main drag in a working class town, which is exactly what it is. We were told that those who deal with tourism issues see that as a separate tourist destination. I am not sure I think that is viable. But it is a good neighborhood destination, I think. Again, though, these are all first impressions based on only what I can see as I move through my life here. So who knows.
It's a strange thing. There are blocks of houses in town that are all abandoned, with boarded and broken windows. Then you turn the corner and you are on a block with rows of well-maintained homes. To be sure, there are places I probably would not want to walk around in whether it was daylight or dark. At one time, coming out of my childhood suburban world, I would have been exceedingly stressed about even being near such a place as this, never mind living here. But I find myself liking it here. I don't get it. I like it much better than Burlington, which I loved when I got there but increasingly disliked as we stayed. It began to seem like a Stepford town. We were right to leave there. As I said, I didn't have a clue what to expect when I rode into town. It never would have been this. But I find myself fascinated by what is going on here. I feel that I am where I need to be for right now. I like it. Go figure.

It probably helps that I like this apartment. And I can sit outside on the porch or inside on my couch and watch my tree turn yellow. It's a good view, since we're at leaf-level up here. The squirrels sometimes pop up on the porch railing to say hi and the birds like to show up and see what's going on.

And we've already met some wonderful people. There's a Unitarian Universalist church that is a ½ hour walk from our apartment. The people are great and it's a good fit for me because they are inclusive and honor many religious/spiritual paths. There are banners on the wall with symbols from most of the major world religions, including the easterm ones. Too often people talk about world religions and they mean the 3 monotheistic ones. But there's more to world religions than Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. So those each have a banner, as do Hinduism, Confucianism, Buddhism, and there is one symbol that I am not familiar with, but I made a guess that it could be Sikh, since there is a Sikh temple in Little Italy. Anyway, they make no bones about being a liberal church and I like that, too. We went to a cluster meeting last week, a book discussion last night, and are going to another gathering in a couple of days. The people themselves have been very friendly and welcoming. I like them, too.
So there you have it. I find myself incredibly interested to see how it is all going to unfold. I can't even imagine it. But it is good to wake up each day and feel a sense of curiosity about what is going on and to be able to walk through my days with a sense of fascination about all the things I see around me. I feel alive. I feel interested. I feel at peace.

We're Here!

We are in Niagara Falls, of all places. It was easier and cheaper to stay here than in Buffalo, 15 miles away. The people who run the motel even upgraded our room to one with a fridge and a microwave at no extra charge. We rented the place for a week. We got here at about 7:15 last evening after driving almost 500 miles from Burlington. Before noon today we had an apartment! Much different than VT! Bill saw the listing after we arrived last night, emailed the guy, who promptly emailed back and said to call in the morning to get directions. We did and went over. he lives in Ohio and was leaving this afternoon. He seemed like a nice guy. So this apartment is upstairs in a house--looks like a neighborhood of houses like that. The neighborhood seemed pretty quiet for a Saturday morning. There's a lady who lives downstairs. the rent is $450 and the landlord pays for heat. We are within walking distance of the supermarket, the library, downtown, Little Italy, the cultural arts center, Niagara Falls, and Canada. There's a bus line right outside. It's got two bedrooms and is set up pretty nicely to provide some privacy--one bedroom is off the kitchen and one is off the living room. The bathroom is in the middle. And there's a big porch that runs across the front of the house. I am going to crochet some lace panels to hang on the sides for some privacy because I think there is still time to sit out there wrapped in a shawl drinking tea! We just got an email from the guy saying that it'll be ready for us when we check out of the motel. So that is that! I am happy. We had agreed that we wouldn't make a decision right there, but both of us really liked it when we saw it. Life is funny, isn't it? After 3 weeks of cooling our heels in Burlington, we come here and in less than a day find exactly what we wanted! I know absolutely nothing about this part of the world, so it should be an interesting time here!

garbage!

September 23, 2009
Well, our time in Burlington is drawing to a close. It has been quite an eye-opener. The situation here is serious and pretty alarming. People either have the money to rent crappy apartments at high prices or to buy a house. Many others live in motels and in places like we are staying. It struck me as kind of odd when we first got here that so many motels advertised that they offered extended stay options. Now it makes perfect sense. There's a whole bunch of people that have to live that way because they can't afford an apartment. The place where we are is actually like a neighborhood. People stop and chat with their neighbors who are sitting outside of their cottages, many of the RVs have skirting set up around the bottom, and clearly people have been here for a while and are planning to be here for a while longer. If circumstances were somewhat different for us, I would probably consider staying right where I am, because it's actually pretty nice. But the place we are in won't work for 3 of us in the long term, getting a two-room cottage is more expensive, and the rates for all the cottages don't drop until after foliage season—so that means November. From November through March, Bill and I alone could live here for $900 per month. That includes everything—furniture, heat, water, electricity. For around here, that's a real bargain. But it's not November and it's not just Bill and me, so we will move on Friday morning. We have decided to go to Buffalo. We had been thinking about Bismarck or Minneapolis/St Paul. The latter was my second choice before we left Klamath Falls, and I didn't see anything to really dislike when we were there. The hesitation I had was about the fact that it was a large urban area. I liked Bismarck. But we were limiting ourselves to places we had stopped on the way here. As we looked into both places, we saw some things that concerned us. Minneapolis had high rents like here. Bismarck had much lower rent, but not a lot available and not much new being added. So one day Bill said, “What about Madison, Wisconsin?” That seemed reasonable to me, so we looked into it. It's like the complete opposite of here! Apartments everywhere, new ones added all the time, and sales like free rent and low security deposits. This seemed quite hopeful. So we went through a few days planning on that. Bill emailed with some questions to one woman and she has emailed back a couple of times and is prepared to make an appointment to show us the apartment. Quite a shift from what we're experienced here! But then Bill said, “What about Buffalo?” I really don't care. So we looked into that. There are lots of affordable apartments and new ones being added every day. Not quite as many sales. But it is 700 miles closer than Madison, it is on Lake Erie, and close to Canada. So we will swing by there and see what we can do. We won't be staying as long as we've stayed here and we keep Madison as a possibility if Buffalo doesn't work out. I am interested to see what happens. As for Burlington, I find it disturbing that there is such a clear class divide here and it does not seem that there is any activism or even much discussion of this serious community problem.
In truth, it makes me far less enthusiastic about the community.
Last night we went down the street to the Pierson Library in Shelburne to see the documentary “Garbage! The Revolution Begins at Home.” It was a good film and the filmmaker had good intentions. As is often the case with these kinds of things, I felt that it didn't go far enough. It was kind of superficial to me, but then I have been aware of the issues addressed for some time and tried to make changes in my life because of what I learned. But I suppose that as an introduction to the whole subject, it was fine. The filmmaker got some friends of his to collect their garbage for 3 months so they could see how much they accumulated. They live in Toronto. In that community, they put wet garbage in separate containers to be picked up and sent to the composting plant. So rather than keep all of that, they weighed it and put it out for collection. They also separated their recyclables. In the end they had 320 pounds of wet garbage, and 83 bags of garbage and recyclables. They had 3 small children. Throughout the film, I had the feeling that this was not changing their lives at all. There were a few exclamations of surprise at how much trash they generated, but no real comments about changing behavior. Their house had 5 bathrooms. There was no discussion of using less water. The filmmaker was the only one who seemed serious about making changes. He got rid of his beloved jeep because of the poor gas mileage and other issues. He had it recycled. There was no discussion about buying less and using less, which is really what is going to have to happen if we are going to get anywhere. Recycling cardboard isn't going to cut it. We should all do it, but it's not enough.
There were a couple of things I did not know. One is that Toronto trucks its garbage to Michigan to be processed. One of the more powerful parts of the film was when they spoke to people who live near the ring of landfills about what they have to deal with. There are large truck speeding down their suburban residential streets—one woman can't even ride her bike like she used to because it's no longer safe. They talked about the stench they live with. One couple said that they had visitors from out of town one summer and they left because it was so bad. And there's the dust from the incineration of the trash—it floats down into people's homes and lungs and contains all kinds of carcinogens, including asbestos. And of course, they couldn't sell their houses even before this economic mess—and it seems fair to assume that what material wealth they had was probably tied up in their houses. The other part of the movie that was very moving and disturbing was the part where they spoke to people in West Virginia about the coal mining and processing plants that are ripping the tops off of mountains and threatening the health of children in school, as well as entire communities. They build these things right near schools, so if the containment ponds fail—as they did last winter—the school will be flooded with the poisonous sludge. Children have to leave school because they are sick and have terrible headaches when they are blasting and processing the coal, sending dust everywhere. One guy said, “There have to be some things that are more important than money.” as he walked around showing the filmmaker the giant cracks in the ground that have appeared because of the blasting—one was over 600 feet deep and 10,000 feet long. Not to mention the fact that they are ripping the tops off the mountains as far as the eye can see. The coal companies want him to sell his land and he refuses. He pointed out the bullet holes all over the place. People want him to give in because of all those well-paying jobs the coal company keeps promising to provide. It was another reminder that it is those who are better off and live in the suburbs with 5 bathrooms that are using the resources and the working class people who live in far more modest circumstances that get to be sickened and have shorter life expectancies so that all that trash has a place to go and there's enough coal to light those 5 bathrooms. I am not sure how someone could listen to stories like that and not want to do something. I can't solve the problem by myself. But I can be aware of what is going on and try to use resources more wisely in an effort to do my part. I want to know I did what I could as I watch the situation deteriorate a little more every day.
One other interesting factoid from the movie—dead human bodies are taking longer to decompose. They speculate this is due to all of the preservatives in processed food and cosmetics. Soon our bodies will have to be disposed of as hazardous waste!

Great Day!

September 16, 2009
A beautiful day! Temperatures are in the low 60s, there's a breeze, the trees continue to get a little more colorful each day, and it was actually nippy this morning. It's going to be in the 40s and low 50s at night. This is supposed to continue for the next several days, with some rain added in on Friday. I may get out a shawl for tonight and tomorrow morning. I am always happy when I can wrap myself in a shawl!

We rented this cottage for another week. We had paid through this coming Friday (the 18th), but we are not having much luck in the hunt for a place to live. People are not calling or emailing back very much. A few are. But they either want only 1 person, or the place is being renovated or whatever. We went by one place the other day, but it was too far out—no bus line. And the place looked like a small motel or something. It was kind of depressing and I imagined doing winter there and could not. Plus it was an efficiency—400 square feet. That would work for Bill and I, but with 3 of us it just didn't seem reasonable. So we called the guy and said we didn't need to look at it. So we look some more. Rents are high and the market is tight. We may not make any progress by next week. But we're paid up here until the morning of the 25th, so we have a week and a half to see some movement. If we are still in the same situation by next week at this time, we will decide where to go next. We could either go back to St Paul or Bismarck and rent a place there, or we could go to New Mexico and camp for most of the winter if we need to. We will have to investigate the possibilities. Bill has done some looking and it looks like there is much available in all of these places. But we shall see. We would both like to be able to stay here, but we would need some shelter for the winter and if none is forthcoming, then we'll go elsewhere. If we do end up having to leave, we would make a decision about where to go and make haste in that direction. We would not take our time as we did to get here. I find myself really fascinated to see how it will all turn out. In ways that are completely unexpected, I am sure.


I was already in a great mood this morning as I took deep breaths of crisp fallish air, felt the breeze blowing, looked at the red, yellow, and green leaves, and walked back from the office after having extended our time here. We had some coffee and then went to get some more groceries. As if the day could not get any better, in the entryway of the grocery store was a shopping cart with books in it and a sign that said “FREE.” I grabbed a couple and Bill grabbed one. Free books. I can get into that!

Gratitude

September 15, 2009
Fell asleep last night to the sound of pouring rain. It was really coming down hard. I don't even think it was in the forecast, but it arrived nonetheless. It was a pleasant sound and I am told that this area really needs the rain.
Woke up this morning filled with a sense of gratitude and even a kind of amazement at how this life is unfolding. I never could have planned for this and a couple of years ago when I was in overwhelming pain, I could never have imagined where I would be at this point in my life. But here I am. I am on this incredible journey—we have traveled over 5000 miles—and I have met so many people and seen places I never would have seen otherwise. I have been able to get a new appreciation for who I am and what my work is on the planet and for the wide range of landscape and beauty that exists across the northern part of this country. I have seen the differences and the commonalities between places and people. I have never been at a loss for things to observe, analyze, and think about. This is a trip that I will always remember, of course, but also one that will provide me with things to think about for the rest of my life. And for me, that's an important thing! I have also gained a deeper sense of possibility. We are living in a hugely dysfunctional society and seem to lack the will to change that. Oddly enough, though, the very fact that I have seen good people doing nothing gives me more hope than ever that we can save the planet. It may well not be the US that leads in this. I see no evidence that the will is here. But this country will collapse to a certain degree and that will give other people a chance to do things. And I believe that the only way enough people in the US will change is when there is no choice. Reality will dictate. Too bad, but really, the choices have been there and people have chosen poorly. Soon there won't be so much choice. And for the good of humanity as a whole, I think that this country will have to feel pain. The tragic thing is that it will take some time for the people who created the mess to feel this pain, and those who have never had much in the way of choice will suffer more. I have always wanted this to be otherwise. I used to think that surely, if only people realized how bad things were, they would choose differently. They would become more aware. They would think about other people or the long-term consequences of their actions. And going into this trip, I really thought that I would find some evidence that people are trying to make thoughtful and serious changes. I thought that churches would be taking this opportunity to remind people that there are things more important than a consumer lifestyle and that we're all in this together. Instead I found silence. Deafening silence. And I found people who live in complete ignorance of the fact that there's a world out there in which not everyone thinks the same way. I have lost hope and found it again. I have little hope left that this country will be able to change in ways that are sustainable and healthy. I have more hope than ever that other people in other places will heed the call. Being here makes me happy because I see—at least on the surface—a committed bunch of people living in healthy ways. There are not enough of them and it wouldn't work everywhere in exactly this way, but at least I have found some people who have an awareness and are willing to put that awareness into action and not just talk about it. This makes me glad. And now I know more surely than I ever did that I am not at home in this country. I never have been and I never will be. It may well be that I am doomed to perpetual disappointment. If that is to be the case, then so be it. I can live with that. That's another thing I have learned on this trip. I can be joyful in the midst of it all. But to do that I have to live my life in ways that are ethical and moral to me. I think I used to spend far to much time trying to find some little corner of the box to fit myself into. And now I am quite certain that the box that is US culture is far too small, far too confining, and doesn't have much to offer. I have to interact with the box, but I don't have to live in it. For me, there is no way in. So I guess the overarching discovery of this trip for me has been a sense of acceptance of what is. I don't mean acceptance in the sense that I thing everything's hunky-dory and now I'm going to settle down and be a good little United Statesian, but rather an acceptance of who I am and what this country is and how I need to maneuver through it all. I don't have to like things to accept them. I can accept that choices have been made and people are, by their lack of action and their ignorance, willing to go along with the way things are. I can accept the pain I feel that this is so. I can also accept that that way of life is totally unacceptable for me, so I choose otherwise. I can see the pain ahead and I can talk about things as I see them. In my experience people do not like this, even when it is the mildest of comments. I can accept this too. It is what it is. I am who I am. The universe is what it is. I just need to keep on educating myself and staying as awake and grounded as possible.
I have always been uncomfortable with thoughts like this because it sounds kind of condescending. But I was actually watching some show in some motel room and there were 4 different people talking about the health care debate. Jay Leno of all people said that people get what they deserve. They don't know what they're talking about, they don't care to educate themselves about the issue, and they just spout off these bumper sticker slogans that they hear on the news without knowing the first thing about what they're saying. The congresswoman next to him was pretty uncomfortable. But I think he was absolutely right. And he said it with an air of resignation about the whole thing. That's how I feel about it all. The only discomfort that remains for me is the knowledge that people without choices and without the same opportunities for education—either institutional education or self-education—will be the ones to bear the brunt of it all at first. By the time the powerful start feeling the pain, it'll be far too late.
And so midway through September I find myself at home in my own skin to a degree that I have never felt before. I am comfortable in my role as an outlier. I can embrace this and know that I could never be anything else. I am not sure I would know how to live in a place where I felt at home. I have always—from the time I was a small child—felt misplaced. That is what is normal for me. I live on the fringes and would be completely lost if I ever found myself smack in the center of anything. This used too bother me. And then I realized that this is where the growth happens—on the margins. Interaction, growth, expansion—it all starts at the edge and the edge is the world I inhabit. It's a good thing!

Alive!

September 14, 2009
Another week begins. I have not felt this good in a while! I am energized and not tired. I woke up this morning and knew right away that something was different. I realized that I felt alive. But it was beyond that. Even when I was exhausted and my mind was foggy, I was aware that I did not have the oppressive feeling of deadness that I had been carrying around for years. It was always there, even on a good day in Klamath Falls. Sometimes I would feel like it was just sheer force of will that kept it from swallowing me whole. At some point in these past few months, it went away. I sometimes think about the days I spent in that house just trying so hard to get through each day—it was hard work to schedule myself and surround myself with what I needed to get through a day. I marvel at the fact that I did it. And now it's gone. I am grateful. The exhaustion I have felt over the past couple of weeks had more to do with a disrupted sleep pattern than any feeling of dread at facing another day. So this morning, after going to bed at 1:15 and sleeping through the night, I woke up at a reasonable hour and felt fabulous. This is how I work best. I am definitely not a morning person. But since sleeping in the tent necessitates a whole different system, it eventually caught up with me. But I was able to get a lot done yesterday and get back to a daily round that works for me. I can see the results!
We had an appointment to look at a place this evening, but it was too far out of town, which made it impractical for winter since there's no bus line out that far. We did find out that the local transit system includes express buses that go to Montpelier, Middlebury, and St. Albans, all of which are between 30 and 40 miles from Burlington in opposite directions. This means that we can expand our search, since we would be able to use the bus to get into the city in the winter. Bill does not want to have to rely on the truck. So now we have some leads in those places, too.
It rained like crazy yesterday morning! This guy came to Meeting on his bicycle and when he came in for the book discussion and removed his backpack, I could see a little wet dog head. He carried his dachshund in the backpack and the poor little guy was soaked. Cute dog, though. He was a good Quaker dog and sat quietly through the discussion and then Meeting, running around to greet everyone at the end!
Today was really nice. It was so peaceful sitting outside and reading this afternoon. It's supposed to start cooling down into the 60s during the day and the 40s at night starting tomorrow. The leaves are starting to change faster now. I am not really sure when peak foliage season is supposed to be, but it's a big deal around here. Today we saw some chicken breakfast sausage with Vermont blueberries and maple syrup. They are purple. I had to get a package to try. Last week we had some of the fatter sausage that was chicken and apple with Vermont syrup. Those were really good! Pick-your-own is getting started now and I might do some of that if we find a place before the season ends. I was able to get a Vermont tomato and a bag of local apples in the grocery store. I missed the Farmer's Market Saturday because of my migraine. Maybe this coming Saturday we will be able to go. There is a huge local food movement around here, which I think is great! It looks like we will have to learn to eat fewer potatoes, since we are no longer in potato growing territory. Some come from Maine, I guess. But there are lots of other things that offset the lack of local potatoes! Next Monday, Paul Roberts, who wrote, The End of Food, which is a great book, is giving a free lecture at UVM. I wrote it down so we can remember to go. There is just so much going on here—it is a very vibrant community. The community seems alive, too. There are lots of people from somewhere else here. I hadn't really thought of that before we got here, because my experiences with New England have been the opposite, both when I lived in New Hampshire in the 70s and 80s and had people openly expressing their unhappiness that outsiders were moving in, and when we visited Maine a few years ago. New Hampshire may well be very different now than it was then. But this place most certainly is not insulated or isolated. I am sure that there must be tensions between the newcomers and the old-timers, and it will be interesting to see how that all plays out as we learn more about the dynamics of community here. I think that the fact that there are people from all over is a good thing, because new ideas are always welcome. Well, they are not exactly welcome everywhere. But they are welcome to me and they seem to be welcome here, so maybe that's a good sign!

Discomfort

September 13, 2009
Bill just finished watching the first game of a doubleheader. Last night's game was called in the 6th inning due to rain. But it was a complete game and the Sox won, so he's happy. They won the game that just finished, too. Looks like they will probably get the wild card spot in the American League. He has good memories of listening the the Red Sox as a kid. I listened to the White Sox, being in Illinois. We went to games sometimes at the old Comiskey Park when I was a kid and when we were first married, Bill and I used to go to Fenway Park and sit in the bleachers. It was fun. I used to really be into that stuff. Gradually I just stopped paying attention. The second game is at 5.

We went to Burlington Friends Meeting again this morning. There was a great first discussion about Quakers and racism. A book discussion is starting in a couple of weeks about the book, Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship by Donna McDaniel and Vanessa Julye. I think it will be a very interesting set of discussions, if this morning is any indication. People had very insightful and thoughtful things to say. I am looking forward to it.
I did experience some discomfort as we started to gather, though. There is a woman and her daughter that attend the meeting. They are fairly new in town as well and this woman had written a letter for inclusion in the newsletter, which I picked up last week, that asked for any possible leads in finding a place to live and she laid out what her needs were. Based on that, I assumed that she had chemical sensitivity. But she was also sitting in meeting last week and seemed to be fine. There was no mention of this problem. I am sure that regular attenders are aware of the issue, but most of the people last week were visiting so would not have known. Presumably, they had used soap, shampoo, and other personal grooming items. I say this because this morning, the woman and her daughter were sitting there wearing masks. Bill had gone off to the bathroom when suddenly someone was asking, “Are you wearing SCENT?” I didn't even realize at first that she was speaking to me. As it slowly dawned on me that she was looking at me. I shook my head no. “What about HIM?” she asked, sort of moving her chin in the general direction of the bathroom. I shook my head again. Then I realized I'd showered that morning and said I had used shampoo and soap. The woman with the mask said, “I am getting a migraine already.” This was repeated three times. Another woman was busily opening windows in an effort to solve the problem. I was unsure what to do. I mean, if we had known this would be an issue we could've stayed away or something, but there was no problem last week and the only reason I thought there could be an issue before we showed up was because I guessed based on her letter. Anyway, the first woman who spoke proceeded to lecture me about how they all use natural products. Natural scents are usually OK, but regular products have chemical scents and those decidedly are NOT OK. Now, I felt terrible because this poor masked woman was now going to experience a migraine and maybe even have a ruined day. I felt bad for being the cause of this, however inadvertent. But I didn't know whether to leave or what I should do. We stayed. After the discussion was meeting for worship and she and her daughter left. Again, if this was because I showered this morning, I am sorry about the way it turned out. But mainly I was struck by the other woman who took this really obnoxious tone as she lectured me about what kind of personal hygiene products I should be using. I realized, being on the receiving end, that there is a nice way and a not-so-nice way to state your views and this was a reminder to be careful in doing that. It also occurred to me that it's very easy to make assumptions about people and how they live. The incredulous manner in which she seemed to ask whether I was wearing SCENT indicated to me that the very idea was outrageous. It is also true that she was making some assumptions about class in her remarks. There was never any question in her tone or in what she said that we should all be using NATURAL products. This is probably a great idea. But not everyone can pay for these things. Buying specialty products is expensive—whether it is cleaning stuff for the home or personal grooming items. I am all for natural, but the fact of the matter is, like many other people, I make decisions about how I will spend my money and I am more likely to use less of something such as laundry detergent or shampoo than to buy items that are several times more expensive. I could spend $5 or more on a bar of soap or I could use the little ones that someone didn't use at a motel and spend that $5 on food or something. Is it better for the environment to use more natural products? In many cases it probably is, but sometimes it's all just a gimmick. Many people could not even think about spending the extra money on a bottle of natural shampoo, for example, when they can buy Suave for 79 cents and use the rest of the money on something else they need. And even if you buy some natural product, it still comes wrapped in plastic in one form or another. Of course, it is also possible that this is just the way this person communicates and I am reading too much into the whole thing. Even if that is the case, there's a lesson here. The truth is, I found her manner off-putting and I am far less likely to want to talk to her anytime soon. I thought she was kind of rude and certainly not at all (F)friendly. Not that she gives a crap about what I think! Still, it provided some food for thought and I am always happy when that happens! Not sure what we will do moving forward. I have a bunch of little motel soaps—a few that we've collected over the past couple of months, and a bunch that a friend gave us. I have other stuff that I bought on sale and still have. I am sure that there is other stuff that is not quite so full of chemicals, but I am not going to throw away what I have to buy some other stuff when I don't even know what is acceptable. I am thinking that since there was no issue last week, perhaps if we are in the larger meeting room and I sit farther away, it might be OK. There is no book discussion next week, so I won't have to risk sitting in the smaller room and ruining this woman's day. I don't have a problem with trying to accommodate her, but in order to do that I need to be able to know what is going on. I mean, I have some empathy for her. I am fairly sensitive to various things as well, so I know to some degree what that's like, even though it is not nearly as bad for me as for her. I wanted to talk to her—she had been knitting something and I wanted to ask her about that and other things, but I figured it wouldn't be good to get close to her. So I am left wondering whether my very presence next week will be a problem for her. And the next time I feel like saying something to someone I can remember this morning and be mindful of how I say it.

Headache and the Aftermath

September 12, 2009
Woke up today with a pounding headache and a clogged head. I took an OTC allergy pill, which eased a tiny bit of the pressure. Then I took an OTC migraine pill. I knew I should eat something, but was afraid it wouldn't stay down. I felt a film of sweat all over and I could not breathe well. I just couldn't take a deep breath. I ate an apple. Then I was freezing. When that happens, I know it's time to lay down, so that's what I did. I fell back to sleep. When I woke up it must've been about 11. I ate some Cheerios with a banana and had some coffee.

Then we headed out to look at Middlebury. They were having a storytelling festival. I knew it wouldn't be the kind of story work that we do, but we wanted to check it out. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, I still had some headache left and while that went away after we'd walked around a bit, I was feeling the usual aftermath. I was utterly exhausted and foggy. We found the Folklife Center and went inside. The speakers were in a tiny room that was full to overflowing; it was roasting in there; and there was some kind of smell emanating from the gift shop that was just not working for me. One of the things that happens to me when I get a migraine is an extreme sensitivity to smell. There was a photo exhibit that Bill wanted to look at, so Heather and I waited outside. It was humid and uncomfortably warm. On the way back to Shelburne, it got cooler and rained a little. It was a pleasant ride and Middlebury is a nice town.

We moved from the campground on Friday morning. We came to the Shelburne Camping area. They have these nifty little cottages. It's just one room for the 3 of us and one thing we miss about camping is that we at least get some privacy when we all retire to our tents. They do have 2 room cottages here, but they are significantly more expensive, of course, and we decided that the money could be better spent elsewhere. In any case, it has been nice to have something of a kitchen. The refrigerator is not as small as the tiny one we had last weekend in the motel room. It's not full-size either, but it's big enough. And the freezer actually works quite well. The oven works great. There's a toaster and a small coffeemaker. The stove reminds me of the one we had when we lived in North Pole. It was my only experience having a gas stove and it was one I don't care to repeat. It had two temperature settings—high or off. I could not simmer anything. I ended up using my countertop electric burner for many things, since the gas stove was so crappy.

This one is the same. But at least the flame is higher than the one we get on our camping stove, so stuff cooks faster! Anyway, it's a simple place—no sheets on the bed, no towels, washcloths or little bars of soap in the bathroom, which is why the price is reasonable, I suppose. I was shocked when we first got to town and discovered that the Super 8 charged $141 for one night on a Friday or a Saturday. That is not a luxury hotel by any means! But this place is comfortable and clean. It takes less time to do little things here than it did at the campground, so I am hoping that means I can be more productive in other areas. I have all kinds of ideas about how to fill all of the time I will save on things like making coffee, cooking, getting to the campground sink to wash dishes and walking back and forth to the bathroom. Plus, I can take advantage of the wonders of electric lights to work further into the night! It was disappointing to not be able to do as much as I wanted to today because of my headache and the aftermath, but tomorrow is another day!
Last night, before we left the campground, we saw this guy with his leaf blower blowing the leaves from his rug thing that was outside his RV. I was amazed—not only that he was doing that, but that as they were getting ready for their trip he had the thought that he should bring the leaf blower with him! I don't think I would think of that!
We left at the right time. The rain held off until this morning. It rained pretty hard there for awhile.

Bill has been trying to watch the Red Sox game, since our little cottage has a TV and cable, so he gets the New England Sports Network. He used to listen to the radio broadcasts of the games via the web, but now he is back in his home territory (well, kind of—New Englanders make clear distinctions between people based on what part of the region you're from), so he can tune in via radio or TV. Unfortunately for him, last night's game was rained out. Tonight's was delayed for 2 ½ hours. Doubleheader tomorrow. I have been reading and crocheting—working on the lace shawl I am making for my friend. I am almost at the halfway point!

When we were in Middlebury this afternoon I saw a couple of hats in a shop window. One was constructed out of rectangular pieces of fabric and one was squares on old sweaters. I liked both of them. Bill commented that they were nice and I replied that they were, indeed nice, but they would be nicer in yarn, and once I make myself one, it will be nicer! So I was thinking about that, too.

Another Day

September 10, 2009
We're back at the library--plugged in and online. One more night at the campground and then we will be elsewhere while we see whether it rains. It was cold last night! And being by the lake, damp, too. I think we are going to try to find a place where we can get some kind of weekly rate. It is getting increasingly tiresome to be moving every couple of days. We end up packing the truck, then going somewhere and unpacking, setting up the campsite or taking it apart. It eats up a good part of the energy I have for the day and we need to be doing other stuff. And besides, we are not sure how long the weather will hold out. As Bill pointed out this morning, if our stuff gets wet, it will take a long time to dry because the sunny and hot days that would take care of it are probably behind us. And I don't need a bunch of stuff ruined by mildew. But we will see what will happen. Everything will work itself out.
We ended up not going to look at that apartment after all yesterday afternoon because the person left us a message saying it was only for 1 person. Guess that wasn't the place for us. We've found one that sounds better in many ways and have contacted the person to try and look at it. We await her reply.
Heard from a guy at the Parks and Recreation Department. I had contacted him about possibly doing a class there. He sent me the proposal paperwork. It was good to get a reply!
Yesterday afternoon we drove up to St Albans to check it out. There is an available apartment there. We wanted to see how feasible it would be to live there. It's a nice little town—we stopped and had our picnic lunch in the park—but we both felt that it wasn't going to work for us. It's 30 miles from Burlington and we do not want to have to make that trip on a regular basis. So we would have to plan to spend most of our time in St Albans itself and there just didn't seem to be enough there for that to work out well. Today we will check out some other places around here so that we get some idea of where to look for an apartment and where not to look.
After we were done with all we had to do yesterday, we went back to the campsite and I made some coffee. Then we went to the beach. It was a beautiful day—not at all hot. I brought some crocheting and sat there working on a big lace shawl. It was wonderful!
Today it's supposed to be in the high 60s-low 70s. Should be another great day!

Fog, Calm, Exile

September 9, 2009
I think there's something happening downtown today in honor of 09-09-09. I forget what it is. This is not surprising! I am walking around in a fog! This is not a bad thing, really, because it keeps me calm. Without my weariness, I would probably be completely stressed out at having to run around trying to find a place to live and settling in. But I'm too tired for that, so instead of being stressed, I am able to be very calm and composed. I know that things will unfold in their own good time. This morning I stuck my head into the back of the truck to get something—the peanut butter, I think—and I had to just stop and stand there for a minute as I tried to remember what I was doing. Eventually I found the peanut butter—how far could it have gone, after all—I just put it back there yesterday afternoon! After our experience in St. Ignace where the squirrel came and took our jar of peanut butter into the woods, I am very careful about leaving stuff out. So the back of the truck is now my moveable pantry.
We are back at the campground until Friday morning when there is rain expected. It's far less crowded now than it was when we left. It's a nice place. The bathrooms are clean and the beach and a bike path are right there. Lake Champlain is quite beautiful. Last night as the sun was setting over the lake, there were some clouds in the sky and there was a big orange sun lighting them from behind. Unfortunately, we were driving down Main St at the time and Bill was unable to get a photo. Maybe tonight. This morning, everything is very blue—the lake, the mountains across the lake, the sky. The lake looks a little choppy. And there is a slight hint of foliage on some of the trees at the campground. The squirrels are busy gathering food. You never know when acorns are going to rain down on your head, tent, or truck. Last week we watched two squirrels chasing each other in an effort to determine who would get a particular tree. They were running around and around the trunk of the tree in a spiral. It's been interesting to observe how different creatures behave. Back in Hardin, MT Bill dropped a walnut. Before long, the ants had organized themselves and were being very methodical as they swarmed the nut, taking away tiny pieces that were barely visible. They would march back in a procession to place these little pieces in their proper spots and then come back for another piece. We sat there for quite awhile watching them. Then Bill decided to freak them out by moving a small stone that they were walking over. It messed up their system and they had to regroup. But they did. By the next day, the nut was gone. Anyway, it's nice being outside after the motel room. The air is fresh and the scenery is beautiful.
Yesterday I got chatty emails from 3 friends in Klamath Falls. It made my day! I do not miss living there, but I do miss many people and it was nice to hear how things are going for them. And the fact that they all had good things to report was even better!
Today we have an appointment at 4 to go look at an apartment in Winooski, which is a couple of miles up the road. We realized right away that we might not be able to rent right in the city of Burlington, because of the two colleges. Rents are high and many apartments are not in good shape. And since there are two colleges right on Main St (!) scarcity is an issue. So we are prepared to look elsewhere. We're going to take a ride up to St Albans to see what that is like as well.
The other day I was finishing a book by Sam Keen called To a Dancing God. It's an old one, first written in 1970. In one part of the book he was talking about the idea of being in exile. This is something that I have thought about in terms of my own situation ever since I read Gerda Lerner's autobiography several years ago. Anyway, Keen was saying that people in exile either look back to the past and create a nostalgic glow around it, or they look forward to someday and figure their real life will start there. I do not look nostalgically back to my past—that has never been my problem. But I do end up doing the “someday” thing. I am not sure that I stop living in order to save it up for someday, but I do tend to be doing one thing and thinking about how it will impact the somedays in the future. I do spend a great deal of time planning. It fits in with my difficulties living in the moment and I think also has something to do with wanting to control outcomes. I had so little control as a kid that I always was trying to prepare myself for the (bad) things that were to come. When I got older, I tried to control things so that no bad things would happen. Not a successful enterprise. I would spend endless amounts of time figuring out what might happen and preparing for each and every thing I could think of. Problem was, if I thought of 27 things that might happen, it was usually something #29 that actually showed up, and naturally, I hadn't planned for that. So there I was. At least I know what I am doing now. I can see myself falling into that and stop myself when necessary. Or at least I try to stop myself by reminding myself that I have little or no control over most things. What I can control is my own response, so maybe the best thing would be for me to keep my mental self in good order so that I can deal with whatever comes up. This isn't easy for me. But I'm getting better at it and the truth is, it makes for a much better life. So I'll keep on plugging away at it!

One Moment at a Time

September 7, 2009
Feeling better today. There is much potential here in Burlington. I am trying not to get too excited, because I want to avoid a repeat of what happened when I moved to Klamath Falls. I figure this is a chance to do it better this time. There are some things I can do in order to try and move in a positive direction and tomorrow when I can get back online at the library, I will do them. And then I will take it one moment at a time. I'm not really good at that. But I'm getting better. When I was at my lowest point—2 years ago now—and I had to find some way of dealing with things, Buddhist concepts that I found in books and in podcasts really helped me. And they continue to do so today. With technology being what it is, there are a number of teachings available. I am grateful for this. I try to listen to a dharma talk most nights before I go to sleep. I find that many of the practices are very helpful in many ways as I go through my day-to-day life. It's just very empowering to realize that I have the ability to handle whatever happens in a healthy and productive way. I have known many people who do not handle their pain, but rather try to bury it. This never works of course, but people still try. The other night I was laying in the tent listening to a talk and the woman was talking about trusting yourself. One of the things she said was that we do not do a very good job of self-examination in this culture. Amen to that, sister! And yet, this is a crucial activity. We have to know who we are before we can engage in any meaningful way with others and the culture around us. I have a tendency to go too far in the opposite direction. I am always analyzing everything and I have spent much time in self-examination. This has not always been a good thing. So, like with everything else, balance is needed. There's a reason Buddhists talk about the Middle Path :-) Anyway, one thing I have learned about myself through all of this self-examination is that I am stronger than I thought I was. And I know what kind of life I want to live. Maybe I will be able to do it and maybe I won't. Some things are just out of my control. But what I do know is that I can deal with things as they come. And I have plenty of ideas in my head to keep myself occupied.
We did some laundry today. There was a sign up at the laundromat that said, “WiFi Available,” so I got out my computer and tried to connect. The only available network was labeled, “Doesn't Work and Easily Hacked.” Not a great sign. I skipped it and read instead while I waited for the laundry.
Other than that we didn't do too much. It was kind of nice, although this motel is not the most wonderful place I have ever been in. The other day our “neighbor” was screaming obscenities. I was waiting to hear gunshots or screams—I thought he was yelling at someone in person and was concerned about possible abuse. Then we heard him threaten to hang up and we knew he was on the phone. We leave in the morning. Assuming that there will be space at the campground once the holiday weekend has ended, we will go back there tomorrow. Then we will head to the library to post some things on Craigslist and send a few emails—I picked up a community education booklet the other day and want to contact them about the possibility of teaching a class or two through their program.. We will probably go to the South Burlington library instead of the one downtown because it's easier to park and you don't have to feed the meter. They have a very comfortable computer room with plugs. There's a whole lot of interesting stuff going on there, too. It's pretty amazing. It's a really small place in the high school building. You wouldn't expect it to have so much happening, but there are several book discussion groups, upcoming lectures on really interesting topics, and even a knitting group on Wednesday nights! I am looking forward to being able to attend some of these events.
Part of me is still tired. Yesterday I caught a look at myself in the mirror as I was brushing my teeth and had to take off my glasses to see whether the bags under my eyes really are multiplying or whether it was just the light. They were multiplying. But there's another part of me that doesn't really care about the weariness or the bags under my eyes and is just really interested in observing how this all turns out. This is certainly not a boring ride, this life. So even though I sometimes have a bad day, mostly I am grateful to be able to live it. As Bill would say, “It is what it is.” Might as well focus on the good parts and enjoy them!

Timing

September 5, 2009
So we packed up this morning, stopped at the Farmer's Market, walked around the pedestrian mall area on Church St., and went to the motel room. I wondered why the door was open again as it had been when we went to reserve the room. I began to think maybe it would not close. But when we got in and closed the door, we knew why. There is a smell of urine, probably coming from the carpet. Not too pleasant, but not overpowering. In any case, by the time we got there, there was a “No Vacancy” sign on the office door. It's not like we had too many places to choose from. I was a little bit depressed, though, to be honest. I wandered around and looked at all of the great local food at the market and felt crummy because I couldn't cook any. And then there was the fact of the motel room. I had a few bad minutes where I just thought that after coming all this way and traveling for so long, only to end up in that place was just too much. But I got over it. I am never good at waiting for things. Now that I'm here, I want to settle in, start cooking and baking in my own kitchen, get a library card, get involved in a bunch of stuff, and just generally get to know this community that I will live in for awhile. But this is a different kind of move for us and will require some different ways of doing things. So we're in a liminal state right now. We're kind of stopped and sort of not. We're in between. And that will just have to be OK. And I will just have to get used to it, whether I really want to or not! Anyway, I know that what will happen eventually is that I will have gotten to know this area. I may like it, I may not. But I will get restless either way. And I will then have to start getting ready to go elsewhere. It's sometimes tiresome to be this way. Periodically I wonder what it would be like to find a place, put down deep roots and stay there for a long time—like decades. And then I start to imagine it and I feel trapped and confined. I always get bored after awhile. That's just the way I'm made. So it's a better idea to accept this about myself than to try to do something else. But now is not the time to worry about all of that. I just got here. And while it is true that we hope our stay here will not be overly long, because we really want to go to Ireland, we have learned that things happen in their own good time and there's not much I can do about it. So I will try to relax and enjoy the ride!! We're all still tired, so since there's not a whole lot of practical stuff we can do over the holiday weekend, we might as well try to get some rest.

Burlington

September 3, 2009
Well, we made it to Burlington. My first impression is good—seems like a very vibrant town. And there are lots of progressive people doing good work. At least it seems like it. I guess only time will tell whether that is real or just an illusion. I will not be surprised either way. My time in Klamath Falls has taught me to go into any situation with as few expectations as possible. I am not sure that completely doing away with expectations is possible, but when I find myself getting too enthusiastic and excited, I remind myself about all I have been through in the past 5 years and I sober up pretty quickly. On the one hand, this is a somewhat effective defense mechanism. On the other, I find it kind of sad that I now live my life expecting disappointment. Maybe I will be able to get past that someday.
We had an interesting first afternoon. We got to the campground where we'd planned to stay and found out that they only had a campsite available for Thursday night and Friday night. So we had to find somewhere else to go on Saturday for the rest of the holiday weekend. All of the other area campgrounds were also full.

So we found the library and so I could connect to the web and search for a place to stay. I found a few that were outrageously expensive, but at least it was something. I found a place that was cheaper, but the website didn't have any way to check for availability. So we went outside and called before we left our parking spot. The guy said he had a room, so we went over and he let us look at it. It was shabby, and not what I normally would've chosen, but it was clean enough. So we reserved it. Then we found the grocery store.

By then we were able to get into our campsite, so we went and set up. It's a fairly nice place.

Later, we walked down the trail to see Lake Champlain. What a beautiful site. We're all pretty tired, so it will probably be an early night.

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

September 2, 2009
It was a beautiful day in Vermont! We woke up to fog covering the trees and hills. After breakfast, we headed out to Thetford, a small town about 10 miles from here where Bill used to live. He saw a house that he used to live in. Another road that he wanted to take was blocked by a concrete barrier. Then we went to Hanover, NH, parked the truck and walked around. By then it was sunny, but pleasant. Not too hot and the sun did not have anywhere near the intensity it has in Klamath Falls.

After lunch, we went back to the Welcome Center in town and back to the food coop.


Then it was off to Quechee Gorge, with a stop on the way at the Cabot Cheese Store. We got to sample several kinds of yummy cheese. They had some cheese that was encrusted with various flavors. Butter, too, though we didn't have a chance to sample that. Still, it seems like it would be easy enough to make. When I get a kitchen again I will have to try it. I saw a book put out by King Arthur Flour about whole grain baking and I was reminded again how much I am looking forward to settling down for awhile and having a chance to cook and bake again. Quechee Gorge hasn't changed much in the 28 years since I saw it last—at least not that I noticed. I still got slightly dizzy looking down at the bottom.

We walked down a path through the woods to get to the visitor's center. It was quite lovely—trees, shade, squirrels—and pretty quiet.
Tomorrow morning we head out for Burlington. We will check out a campground in town and see about staying there for the next several days, since the weather is supposed to be good. No rain in the forecast until late next week. I think it will be somewhat frustrating to have to wait over the holiday weekend before trying to find a place to live. We have no idea how long that will take. I hope it doesn't take too terribly long for several reasons. First off, though the campground is open until mid-October (ready to take those foliage-watchers), it will presumably be getting somewhat cold at night. We could deal with that if we had to. But it is also the case that it takes lots of effort to live in a tent and we have things we need to do, so it would be easier to not have to expend energy unnecessarily. And, there is the fact that we are looking forward to being settled for at least a little while. I am sure that in the spring I will feel my usual restlessness. But I am always a winter hibernation kind of person and I am getting into that mode. And I want to be able to cook and bake and that kind of thing, as I said earlier. But this isn't really something that we have control over, so we will just do what we need to do and deal with whatever comes. We have had lots of practice doing that.
The truck has been nice and quiet since last Friday, when we brought it to American Tire and Automotive on Route 22 in Green Brook, NJ. They were great. We had an 8 a.m. appointment and they took it in right on time. They had a clean, comfortable waiting room with really good coffee. They came out and told Bill that it was his U-joint that was the problem. And the front shocks needed to be replaced. Neither of these things was a surprise, since he had done some research on the web. What was a surprise was the price. One of the things Bill was able to do was to get an estimate for that area. We thought it would cost between $750 and $1000, and hoped it wouldn't go higher. It was $500. And Bill had found a coupon on their website, but couldn't print it out, so he asked them if he could use it anyway. They got one for him and took $20 off of the price. I took home some cards and recommended them to my aunt, cousin, and cousin's daughter. They also gave me some coupon books to hand out, so I did that as well. We were really pleased with the way it all turned out.
The adventure continues!

Vermont

August 31, 2009
We left NJ this morning, heading for Springfield, MA. I got the directions from a website. I had no idea they would take me over the George Washington Bridge and through a part of Manhattan. It was not fun. There were far too many cars piloted by aggressive drivers. I am sure that they have to be that way in order to survive out there, but it was highly stressful for me. At one point, Bill thought he'd gone the wrong way and there were no signs on the road telling us where we were, so we had to ask at the tollbooth. We were on the right road. Phew! It was crazy! I was so glad to be out of that mess. Then once we got beyond Stamford, CT, things eased up and we were out of the urban insanity. Bill told me that Springfield is the second largest city in Massachusetts. I did not know that. In any case, it was a pleasant afternoon. Bill lived here decades ago, but of course it all looked unfamiliar.

September 1, 2009
We're in Vermont!! YIPPEE!! It is beautiful here. Green everywhere. As heather pointed out, the very name of the state means “green mountain” and that is what we're surrounded by. OK, so they aren't exactly mountains by Alaska or even Oregon standards. But they are green, with just a hint of yellow and red starting. Soon the color will explode, I guess.

We stopped at a welcome center that was really nice—we got lots of information and there was some great art to look at—including a textured woven rug and a knitted baby sweater.

We got to White River Junction at midday. Bill lived here in the 70s and he was able to recognize some things. We will stay here until Thursday so he has a chance to explore his old stomping grounds and then we will move along to Burlington on the last leg of our trip. We are about 90 miles away now.

Unfair and Unbalanced

August 28, 2009
I successfully made the sausage and peppers. Left them simmering for 2 ½ hours. They came out great! Now I know the new system.
I have been watching a lot of Fox News. This is new for me. I have not had cable for almost 15 years and even if I had access, it isn't the kind of thing I would normally turn on. But it has been interesting to watch the rhetorical devices they use in order to appear credible. Some of the people I have seen seem like they genuinely believe the stuff they are saying. For some of them, it all seems like a cynical ploy to make a few bucks. Either way, they engage in some pretty shady tactics. One guy in particular seemed like a lunatic. He spent a great deal of time yelling about a bunch of unconnected things, including communists. Are we still harping on that old stuff? Conservatives have been assuring us that the communists are coming for over half a century. They haven't shown up yet. For awhile, we were told to be very afraid of the terrorists, but they seem to be an afterthought now as they run terrified from the Obama administration, which is apparently teeming with communists. If you listen to Fox News for even a few minutes, you will get the impression that any minute now, we will be overrun with commies. It's all in the works right now, according to the conspiracy theorists on TV. At one point the guy had a chalkboard with a bunch of stuff written all over it and he was trying to make some point by writing “OLIGARH” across the top. He asked, “What letter is missing?” He didn't listen when I was yelling at him that he forgot the “C” because he insisted that the missing letter was “Y.” So he had “OLIGARHY.” OK. He probably goes on about immigrants learning English, too. He might want to try that sometime—learning English, that is. I mean, he didn't catch it, his editing team didn't catch it. I'm sure plenty of people in the audience are busy trying to figure out what an “oligarhy” is. Any credibility he had—which was admittedly microscopic—vanished at that little scene. In addition to being unable to spell, he spent a great deal of time in a hysterical diatribe against something that had to do with President Obama. Unfortunately his ability to accurately listen to and comprehend English was as bad as his spelling. He showed a clip of Obama talking about a “civilian intelligence agency.” As he ranted, there was a scroll at the bottom of the screen that talked about the “civilian security force.” Quite a different idea. After he had run that scroll for a few minutes he began to use that language in his rant as well. On a different evening he showed a clip of the diversity specialist at the FCC talking about Hugo Chavez in Venezuela, mentioning the “democratic revolution.” On the transcript they showed on the screen, the word they had instead of “democratic” was “dramatic.” Later, they had “incredible.” By the third time—when I bet many people had stopped paying much attention since it was so repetitive—he put up the correct word. So the basic structure of the show is that the guy starts out calmly and very apologetically talking about the bad news he is forced to pass on to the audience. No one has disputed anything he has said, except for a few minor details, though they have attacked him personally. He does not worry for himself about the forthcoming takeover of the airwaves by the communists, because he will be just fine, thank you. No, it is simply concern about his fellow countrymen that drives him. We should all be very scared. I am a little, but not for the same reasons as this nut. As he talks, he gets more and more agitated until he is almost foaming at the mouth. Then suddenly, he stops the rant and looks sincerely at the camera and says—and this is something they all did, the sane ones and the nuts—that this is not a partisan issue. It is not a Democrat or Republican issue. No, it is something we all must worry about. I find this pretense that they are not partisan interesting. Since people in this country are sick and tired of the divisiveness we've experienced over the past 8 years, that old crap doesn't work anymore, so they pretend to be genuinely concerned about everyone. It was almost humorous to watch guests from the Bush administration talking in serious tones about the dangers of having so much power consolidated in Washington (!) and the threats to personal liberty. Almost humorous, but not quite. I was not sure how they could sit there and say this stuff with a straight face.
I watched a woman attempt to play this game. She had one one person from each side. Before she began the interview I turned to my daughter and told her, 'You watch what will happen now. The woman in the red dress (the Republican, naturally) will be able to speak freely and without interruption. When the Democrat attempts to speak, she will be continually interrupted and not even allowed to finish a sentence.” And that is exactly what happened. I was told that many people on the station are lawyers. This explains their ability to use language in skillful ways that are not exactly honest. A totally different crew was showing clips of a congresswoman talking to her constituents. She mentioned that she'd met Fidel Castro and she found him to be one of the brightest leaders she'd met. When the commentators started talking, they twisted this all kinds of ways—she was a full supporter of Castro, she backed him, she basically agreed with everything he said. Again, this inability to understand English properly is pretty disturbing. Or they are deliberately twisting people's words on a regular basis (ya think?) because they know they can make it seem like people are saying things they are not. Because this happened on several shows at different times of the day, I must conclude that this is a deliberate strategy on their part. How else to whip people into a frenzy of fear? Because make no mistake, this is what they are (still) doing. I wonder how long it can work. How long will the conservatives spread fear far and wide and have people fall for it? They are going on and on about the “health care bill.” Never mind that there is nothing resembling a bill that is about to go to the White House for signature. There is a House bill. Everyone (or so I thought) knows that now the Senate needs to craft a bill, vote on it, and then IF it passes, get together with representatives from the House to hammer out a compromise. We are far from having “a bill.” But accuracy won't get them anywhere so they resort to falsehood and twisting the truth. And the thing that gets me is that they keep talking about what will happen, as though everything will stay the same even if we do get a health care bill passed. But this is short-sighted. One change leads to other changes. You don't make serious changes and expect other things to remain the same. It doesn't work that way. Maybe this is where the fear comes from. Because I do believe that underneath everything, this is what drives this—fear. People are terrified of change. At one point, one of the commentators said that Ted Kennedy's vision had not been fulfilled, so why the accolades? “We have never adopted the things he has wanted to do,” she said. And I so wanted to respond, 'Yeah, and look at where we are today. How's the status quo working for you people?” I guess for the people at Fox, they're working pretty well. They have nice jobs that require them to do very little. Thinking is not required. They can just rant and spout a bunch of nonsense and collect the paycheck. That's nice for them. Too bad for the rest of us.