Headache and the Aftermath

September 12, 2009
Woke up today with a pounding headache and a clogged head. I took an OTC allergy pill, which eased a tiny bit of the pressure. Then I took an OTC migraine pill. I knew I should eat something, but was afraid it wouldn't stay down. I felt a film of sweat all over and I could not breathe well. I just couldn't take a deep breath. I ate an apple. Then I was freezing. When that happens, I know it's time to lay down, so that's what I did. I fell back to sleep. When I woke up it must've been about 11. I ate some Cheerios with a banana and had some coffee.

Then we headed out to look at Middlebury. They were having a storytelling festival. I knew it wouldn't be the kind of story work that we do, but we wanted to check it out. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, I still had some headache left and while that went away after we'd walked around a bit, I was feeling the usual aftermath. I was utterly exhausted and foggy. We found the Folklife Center and went inside. The speakers were in a tiny room that was full to overflowing; it was roasting in there; and there was some kind of smell emanating from the gift shop that was just not working for me. One of the things that happens to me when I get a migraine is an extreme sensitivity to smell. There was a photo exhibit that Bill wanted to look at, so Heather and I waited outside. It was humid and uncomfortably warm. On the way back to Shelburne, it got cooler and rained a little. It was a pleasant ride and Middlebury is a nice town.

We moved from the campground on Friday morning. We came to the Shelburne Camping area. They have these nifty little cottages. It's just one room for the 3 of us and one thing we miss about camping is that we at least get some privacy when we all retire to our tents. They do have 2 room cottages here, but they are significantly more expensive, of course, and we decided that the money could be better spent elsewhere. In any case, it has been nice to have something of a kitchen. The refrigerator is not as small as the tiny one we had last weekend in the motel room. It's not full-size either, but it's big enough. And the freezer actually works quite well. The oven works great. There's a toaster and a small coffeemaker. The stove reminds me of the one we had when we lived in North Pole. It was my only experience having a gas stove and it was one I don't care to repeat. It had two temperature settings—high or off. I could not simmer anything. I ended up using my countertop electric burner for many things, since the gas stove was so crappy.

This one is the same. But at least the flame is higher than the one we get on our camping stove, so stuff cooks faster! Anyway, it's a simple place—no sheets on the bed, no towels, washcloths or little bars of soap in the bathroom, which is why the price is reasonable, I suppose. I was shocked when we first got to town and discovered that the Super 8 charged $141 for one night on a Friday or a Saturday. That is not a luxury hotel by any means! But this place is comfortable and clean. It takes less time to do little things here than it did at the campground, so I am hoping that means I can be more productive in other areas. I have all kinds of ideas about how to fill all of the time I will save on things like making coffee, cooking, getting to the campground sink to wash dishes and walking back and forth to the bathroom. Plus, I can take advantage of the wonders of electric lights to work further into the night! It was disappointing to not be able to do as much as I wanted to today because of my headache and the aftermath, but tomorrow is another day!
Last night, before we left the campground, we saw this guy with his leaf blower blowing the leaves from his rug thing that was outside his RV. I was amazed—not only that he was doing that, but that as they were getting ready for their trip he had the thought that he should bring the leaf blower with him! I don't think I would think of that!
We left at the right time. The rain held off until this morning. It rained pretty hard there for awhile.

Bill has been trying to watch the Red Sox game, since our little cottage has a TV and cable, so he gets the New England Sports Network. He used to listen to the radio broadcasts of the games via the web, but now he is back in his home territory (well, kind of—New Englanders make clear distinctions between people based on what part of the region you're from), so he can tune in via radio or TV. Unfortunately for him, last night's game was rained out. Tonight's was delayed for 2 ½ hours. Doubleheader tomorrow. I have been reading and crocheting—working on the lace shawl I am making for my friend. I am almost at the halfway point!

When we were in Middlebury this afternoon I saw a couple of hats in a shop window. One was constructed out of rectangular pieces of fabric and one was squares on old sweaters. I liked both of them. Bill commented that they were nice and I replied that they were, indeed nice, but they would be nicer in yarn, and once I make myself one, it will be nicer! So I was thinking about that, too.

dealing with the unexpected

Recently, someone said to me, “Living in Klamath Falls is hard.” I was so struck by that comment because I have spent most of the last five years trying to come up with language that was adequate to describe how horrible my experience of this community has been. There it was in a nutshell—clear, concise, simple. Living in Klamath Falls is hard. Yes, indeed.
Though I have found it difficult right from the start, my lowest point occurred during the last 4 months of 2007. I found myself praying the same thing every night before I went to bed. “Please don’t let me wake up in the morning,” I would ask. Then it would be morning, I’d be awake, and I would lay there talking myself into getting up and performing my day. And it was a performance. I put on my plastic face, plodded through each excruciating minute, and looked forward to the moment when I could get back into bed. I spent a great deal of time lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and crying.
After this had gone on for awhile, I knew it could not go on much longer. I would have to make a choice about whether I even wanted to bother anymore. As I pondered this question, I discovered that I did indeed want to bother—but not like this. I wanted to have a life. And I knew that while I could exist here, I could not have a life. It was a start. From there I was able to begin tossing aside some of the excess baggage I’d been carrying around with me. I knew I would have to turn my attention elsewhere instead of focusing on Klamath Falls. So while I have been physically here for the past year and a half, in every other way, I have been somewhere else. I stopped reading the local paper, terminated—except in the most peripheral ways-- my involvement with everyplace except my church, and I simply got my information from other places—podcasts, websites, books, magazines, etc. This requires a great deal of effort and that is something I will always remember. It is exhausting to do what is required to be in a place like this and stay sane until you can get out. I am tired.
The next step was deciding that we would do what we have done in the past, which is to sell our house and use the proceeds from that to get us started in the next place, which was going to be Ireland. Not the right time for that as we quickly found out! The realtor came and gave us the news—the house is worth less than it was when we bought it five years ago and we owe more than it’s worth. It took a bit of time for the market to deteriorate here to the degree that it had done elsewhere, but it has done so now, and she expects this to last for two more years. So selling was out. So was staying. That meant that we would return the house to the person we bought it from and who was carrying the loan. It also meant that we had nothing financially speaking, since everything was put into the house. This was actually kind of freeing, since it left us with few choices to consider!
We decided to hit the road in our 19-year-old truck and camp at various places in our tent. We would have to figure out how to get money for gas and food along the way. This did not seem unappealing. Then as we were walking around town doing errands we started talking about doing a project while we’re out there. We could collect stories from people about how the economic situation has changed their lives—in both positive and difficult ways. We began to get excited about the idea. We told a few people. The next day after church we were taken to lunch and offered support for this trip! We were astounded and grateful! After that, we began to plan in earnest. The people who decided to support the trip told us that we could keep it between the five of us if we wanted to, but they thought other people in the church community would be interested too. We assured them that we had planned to tell others, but hadn’t had time yet. A couple of weeks later, we gave a presentation at church and the members agreed to set up a fund to which people could contribute if they wanted to. Every person we tell has been very enthusiastic about the idea. We have gotten all kinds of support—people have offered their good wishes, financial support, and donated things we need for the trip. It has been an amazing experience. So we are preparing to leave. And even though we’re still here, it’s been an amazing journey already!!
The prayer flag was created by Dawn Wood from the Klamath Falls Friends Church. Thanks Dawn :)