September 5, 2009
So we packed up this morning, stopped at the Farmer's Market, walked around the pedestrian mall area on Church St., and went to the motel room. I wondered why the door was open again as it had been when we went to reserve the room. I began to think maybe it would not close. But when we got in and closed the door, we knew why. There is a smell of urine, probably coming from the carpet. Not too pleasant, but not overpowering. In any case, by the time we got there, there was a “No Vacancy” sign on the office door. It's not like we had too many places to choose from. I was a little bit depressed, though, to be honest. I wandered around and looked at all of the great local food at the market and felt crummy because I couldn't cook any. And then there was the fact of the motel room. I had a few bad minutes where I just thought that after coming all this way and traveling for so long, only to end up in that place was just too much. But I got over it. I am never good at waiting for things. Now that I'm here, I want to settle in, start cooking and baking in my own kitchen, get a library card, get involved in a bunch of stuff, and just generally get to know this community that I will live in for awhile. But this is a different kind of move for us and will require some different ways of doing things. So we're in a liminal state right now. We're kind of stopped and sort of not. We're in between. And that will just have to be OK. And I will just have to get used to it, whether I really want to or not! Anyway, I know that what will happen eventually is that I will have gotten to know this area. I may like it, I may not. But I will get restless either way. And I will then have to start getting ready to go elsewhere. It's sometimes tiresome to be this way. Periodically I wonder what it would be like to find a place, put down deep roots and stay there for a long time—like decades. And then I start to imagine it and I feel trapped and confined. I always get bored after awhile. That's just the way I'm made. So it's a better idea to accept this about myself than to try to do something else. But now is not the time to worry about all of that. I just got here. And while it is true that we hope our stay here will not be overly long, because we really want to go to Ireland, we have learned that things happen in their own good time and there's not much I can do about it. So I will try to relax and enjoy the ride!! We're all still tired, so since there's not a whole lot of practical stuff we can do over the holiday weekend, we might as well try to get some rest.
